So because there was talk that the rapture would be happening on May 21, I decided to spend the rest of my hours on earth before a zombie apocalypse by watching a movie.
No, it wasn’t an Aga-Angel movie. I decided to watch Priest. Because it was timely with the rapture and the best way to spend your remaining hours on earth is to bask in the hot glories of Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, and Maggie Q.
Priest is a post-apocalyptic movie about how the Church has become so badass its priests are now highly capable warriors with fierce red cross markings on their foreheads. The Church is the last frontier, tasked not only with spiritual guidance but also protection from the outside world that has become a wasteland home to vampires that they thought they have eliminated long ago.
The story of Priest isn’t special. It is very direct and even something to be expected considering its genre. It is a story of redemption and going badass action on monsters that try to kidnap your daughter, a daughter you fathered before you pledged unwavering loyalty to the Church which turned out to be disillusioned with pride and ego. Sounds too familiar with the real life Church?
Now if you really want to watch this movie, do it for the fight scenes and the beautifully created setting. Real eye candy. Plus the creepy vampires are really creepy and will shock the bejeezus out of you in the most shocking moments. Shocker.
The social commentary, yes there was one, of the movie on the Church’s hardheadedness to cling to the old ways and refuse to evolve with the needs of its flock is a direct reflection of real life. That the Church has become just an establishment, and is as far removed from what God is supposed to represent as humans are. But if priests were as hot as Paul Bettany or Maggie Q, then I am so going to church despite their hardheadedness on the RH Bill. Yes, I just went there.
So now that 6pm has come and gone and I am still here. There are only two reasons: either I’m going to hell caused I missed the rapture, or the rapture has been delayed so I can watch the second installment of Priest.
Or maybe a third reason. That the Mayans are right…oooh.