RAPTURED BY THE PRIEST

So because there was talk that the rapture would be happening on May 21, I decided to spend the rest of my hours on earth before a zombie apocalypse by watching a movie.

No, it wasn’t an Aga-Angel movie. I decided to watch Priest. Because it was timely with the rapture and the best way to spend your remaining hours on earth is to bask in the hot glories of Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, and Maggie Q.

Priest is a post-apocalyptic movie about how the Church has become so badass its priests are now highly capable warriors with fierce red cross markings on their foreheads. The Church is the last frontier, tasked not only with spiritual guidance but also protection from the outside world that has become a wasteland home to vampires that they thought they have eliminated long ago.

The story of Priest isn’t special. It is very direct and even something to be expected considering its genre. It is a story of redemption and going badass action on monsters that try to kidnap your daughter, a daughter you fathered before you pledged unwavering loyalty to the Church which turned out to be disillusioned with pride and ego. Sounds too familiar with the real life Church?

Now if you really want to watch this movie, do it for the fight scenes and the beautifully created setting. Real eye candy. Plus the creepy vampires are really creepy and will shock the bejeezus out of you in the most shocking moments. Shocker.

The social commentary, yes there was one, of the movie on the Church’s hardheadedness to cling to the old ways and refuse to evolve with the needs of its flock is a direct reflection of real life. That the Church has become just an establishment, and is as far removed from what God is supposed to represent as humans are. But if priests were as hot as Paul Bettany or  Maggie Q, then I am so going to church despite their hardheadedness on the RH Bill. Yes, I just went there.

So now that 6pm has come and gone and I am still here. There are only two reasons: either I’m going to hell caused I missed the rapture, or the rapture has been delayed so I can watch the second installment of Priest.

Or maybe a third reason. That the Mayans are right…oooh.

LA SUPER LAST SUPPER!

Bureaucrazy.

I won’t be surprised if one of these days a person would run amok because of the craziness of our bureaucratic system. The system is filled with so much red tape, I’m surprised our government buildings are not colored red. The system is so slow, I’m surprised a wormhole in the fabric of time hadn’t opened up and swallowed them yet.

Left: the film's protagonist C: his hunky assistant R: one of the Last Suppers being considered for a corned beef advertisement

Last night I was able to watch the Cinemalaya 5’s Best Picture: the comedic tale of Last Supper No. 3. I would like to place emphasis on how other universities suck, because UP unlike them, has again sponsored the re-showing of these year’s Cinemalaya entries. Hurrah for liberal education! Hurrah for freedom of the UP Film Institute! Hurrah for me being a UP student! Sucks to be you other university students!

Anyway.

Last Supper No. 3 is about the riveting tale of a gay production assistant who loses a measly Last Supper tapestry and the series of unfortunate bureaucratic events which escalated after that. The comic attack of the film on one of the biggest problems of our country is effective and will indeed send you in a laughing fit. But after laughing so hard from all the Murphy’s Law (everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong) action that is happening in the screen, the movie will make you think: why do we even have this sort of problem?

The bone of contention: Last Supper No.3

The bureaucracy is supposed to bring order by presenting a system which works and functions for the convenience of the people. But oftentimes this is not the case. Long lines, frustrating employees, dilapidated structures, fucked-up justice system, no wonder people are not fans of the prospect of entering a government building.

For what it is worth, the film deserves to win for one important aspect: it provides a refreshing take on an important but already mundanely-perceived subject. Plus Maricel Soriano and Ricky Davao made cameos. Plus it is far better than the dizzying darkness of Engkwentro.

By the way it is based on a true story.

Literally.

BOOZE BONANZA (OR HOW MY LAST SEM HAD ME STONED)

My semester is finally over. Five months of hellish academic work, nagging professors, and backbreaking requirements are now gone (at least for now). Not to mention five months worth of heartaches and crushed crushes. Everything from those five months is now moot and academic. But before we usher in the new semester, let’s look back at how I fared in my 21 units worth of subjects last sem.

But before we get too excited, let me first announce the theme for this sem’s semender review (last sem I did a review with a sexual theme). It’s no secret that I am an alcoholic (Hi, I’m Jean, and I am an alcoholic…AA meeting over), and so this sem’s theme would be entitled: JEAN’S BAR LIST OF BOOZY SUBJECTS, where we group last sem’s hellish courses according to their academic toxicity, alcoholic proof, and booziness (or just plain boo!).

 

Journalism 122 (Publication Design and Layout) – the last major subject in the journalism majors series, the vodka of the bunch. Vodka has got to be my favorite liquor. It can be mixed with almost anything citrusy or be taken on the rock. It has the punch you need without the ugly after taste. J 122 is just like that. I love it. It is my favorite subject this sem. With this subject I was able to do what I love doing best: designing and print layout. From calling cards, to brochures, to newspaper frontpages, and magazine spreads, I have enjoyed each and every shot of this vodka bliss with different mixes. Of course doing your very own website using only HTML handcoding is an experience I will never forget. That experience was like vodka on the rocks, you regret not mixing it with anything because it’s too bitter, but then you realize mixing is not always an option, and all you really need is ice (in this case it was Notepad). I loved the subject, and I would gladly take it again if I would have the chance. Just like vodka, it will never go out of style.

 

Journalism 152 (Public Relations) – I have always been a fan of advertising and not PR, but after taking this course, I think I will also like PR as much as I like advertising. It is like red wine. When you first taste wine, you don’t drink it at once, you smell it first, appreciate its color, then you sip it, then you ask for more. That is exactly how PR went for me. I dabbled in a bit of it, tried to appreciate its intricate paperwork and research, then tried to apply it (“tried” is the operative word, because we didn’t have the time to actually do our own PR events, reporting to a make-believe clientele and doing a PR proposal were all we were able to do). But good wine takes time to mature, and just like my appreciation for PR, I think I would have to wait a little longer or experience a bit more, to truly love it.

 

Journalism 123 (Photojournalism) – my lightest subject this sem. No worries, no hard labor, but when you DO have to do labor…it really IS hard labor. It is like good old beer. When you like to have it, you can easily buy it. You can drink it on the go, and have as many as you want. But there is always the fear of having too many, and growing a beer belly. Photojournalism was just like that, easy, fast, and on the go. But creating a midterm plate and doing a media presentation for your final plate are just two beer bellies hard to ignore. Mind you, those were the only requirements for the course, so I shouldn’t be really complaining…but still. But just like a cheap bucket of six, J123 provided two cheap thrills for me: a DSLR, and being classmates with 2. Oh yeah!

 

Communication Research 101 (Intro to Comm Res) – this is definitely my brandy. It is bitter, it is boring, it is old (and it’s not just the professor either)! I absolutely hate CommRes! It is the cause of my sleepless nights, the root of my aching fingers and blurry vision, and excessive coke intake in the morning. CommRes is supposed to help us out in our thesis writing next year, just like brandy, it is supposed to serve a greater good (in brandy’s case, better blood circulation). But brandy can’t be mixed with anything, it is not a party drink, and I really don’t like the searing aftertaste. I don’t care if a shot of brandy a day is good for your circulation…whatever man! Having to do a thesis proposal is already hard work, but having to do two in a sem for one measly subject, is just insane! Comm Res professors, please hear my call, ComRes is not the only subject we CMC students have to deal with! Bear with us! Argh!

 

Communication 120 (Mass Media Law) – the prof is bitchy, the subject is an ass, but the experience was hellavafun! Though this was one of the subjects which gave me the semblance of being an actual student, because I had to read and really prepare for every meeting lest I suffer the bitchy wrath of the professor, it is fun to watch classmates being bullied and bitched at by the prof. It is just like tequila. Tequila is a great base for mixing cocktails, it is sweet and tender, but just like a true bitch, it can punch you and knock you out if you pour one too many shot glasses. Finishing the exams for this subject was like waiting for the sunrise, tequila sunrise that is. Though you have to pore over dozens of court cases to review, the actual exams are not that hard. Just like true tequila goodness, even if you get bitched at the class (or hangover) is well worth it because you know—deep inside—you are the bigger bitch.

 

Speech 111 (Voice and Diction) – pretending to be a call center agent was never this fun. Learning the correct IPA symbols for transcribing words was confusing at times, but the sessions of speaking in funny English accents are more than enough to cover for the bad times. It is just like lambanog. At first you wouldn’t consider the lowly drink from the coconut because it’s too provincial or cheap, or for the farmers, or whatever association you have with it. But once you realize that there are such things as flavored lambanog (comes in bubblegum, apple, grape, and four seasons), you begin to change your stereotypical views. Speech 111 is not just for Speech majors, it is actually very helpful in speaking internationally (pronounced as innernationally) accepted standard of English. Which means I can now apply for a call center (cenner), and have a higher chance of getting accepted (agzepted). Hahaha!

 

Communication 140 (Mass Media and Society) – the prof is the best (Sir Roland…need I say more?), and so is the rest. I love my classmates (except for two irritating know-it-alls), and I love the reports!! This is the only subject where I was able to connect blood circulation and conglomerates, Christmas and plastics, jologs and ilusyonadang frogs, and desaperacidos and burning ants with a magnifying glass!! I had a super great time reporting with you groupmates! But the final exam for this subject, which accounts for 60% of the final grade, is just plain hell. The subject is like absinthe: illegal in some countries, beloved by all. You want it, you enjoy it, but you’ll hate the hangover the next day. But still, the experience was well worth it.

 

So that was how my last semester went. A little woozy, but not really. A little crazy, but not enough. Sadly I can’t say that I’ll be sober this summer…internship…effing internship. *hic